More.
Rain on the window pane.
I lie here still.
Drip.
Drop.
Come harder.
Drown my thoughts.
Whisper me to sleep.
Pour.
Pour down.
Flood my mind to ease
Pain, Dying, and Death.
Awake still.
A roll of thunder.
Gentle roar.
Holidays come.
Amidst the breaking.
Love.
Surge of life.
Yet washes me away.
Fall.
Falling water.
Come morning.
The sun will rise,
But foggy thoughts remain.
December 10, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
Love
November 27, 2008
Today. A conversation with a gentle man whose heart runs deep. He told me that he knows he's dying, but he's known it his whole life. I wanted to argue with him and say he wasn't dying. But, the statement rung true to the depths of my soul. I didn't know how to respond and thankfully didn't feel the pressure to. I just sat there and looked him in his eyes. He told me that we often worry about the things in life that probably won't even happen, but the things we don't worry about in life will probably happen. He explained that even though he's worrying about his cancer, he will probably die from a heart attack instead. We went on to chat about the paradoxes of life...how one's worst event in life could turn into one's best event, how there is life in death, and how the cycle carries on. In this very instant, I felt the paradox, the beauty and sting of life...the joy that this man brought me through his life, but the sadness that this same man would bring me through his death. I realized then that the depth of love you allow yourself to feel for a person is the same depth of pain you are allowing yourself to experience later. If you're a chicken, you won't love deeply...it hurts too much, the pain is great. Love is for warriors. Warriors who believe the pain is worth it. This man is a warrior. He told me he was proud of me today and I weeped. I weep now. This man got to my heart, and so it is, I love him deeply. This explains the pain.
Today. A conversation with a gentle man whose heart runs deep. He told me that he knows he's dying, but he's known it his whole life. I wanted to argue with him and say he wasn't dying. But, the statement rung true to the depths of my soul. I didn't know how to respond and thankfully didn't feel the pressure to. I just sat there and looked him in his eyes. He told me that we often worry about the things in life that probably won't even happen, but the things we don't worry about in life will probably happen. He explained that even though he's worrying about his cancer, he will probably die from a heart attack instead. We went on to chat about the paradoxes of life...how one's worst event in life could turn into one's best event, how there is life in death, and how the cycle carries on. In this very instant, I felt the paradox, the beauty and sting of life...the joy that this man brought me through his life, but the sadness that this same man would bring me through his death. I realized then that the depth of love you allow yourself to feel for a person is the same depth of pain you are allowing yourself to experience later. If you're a chicken, you won't love deeply...it hurts too much, the pain is great. Love is for warriors. Warriors who believe the pain is worth it. This man is a warrior. He told me he was proud of me today and I weeped. I weep now. This man got to my heart, and so it is, I love him deeply. This explains the pain.
It Comes.
Years of worry. Years of anguish. Years of sorting out the unsorted. Believing I had been short-changed. But to change direction in my view, I find Him there. Amidst the array of events. I find rest, for He provided. Could I really ask for more? Yet I did, and He came through. I was never alone. Now, a grateful heart. Abundantly he gave. His presence I found. Pieces of joy in the midst of night. Little love notes in the sky. He was there. Words, signs, and songs. Some say coincidence. I say, Him. Guiding my way. A lamp. Yes. He showed up. Doubt surrounded. Faith came through. Through Him. I didn't have the strength. He carried. And the healing. It's coming. It's here. It surrounds me. I'm still walking through. Completion. Not yet. But, it comes.
Life
To worry. To fret.
It is a chore.
A burden we carry.
To smile. To laugh.
It is a relief.
A hope we believe.
To hug. To kiss.
It is a gift.
A healing to the sick.
To inhale. To exhale.
It is a life.
A part of His plan.
It is a chore.
A burden we carry.
To smile. To laugh.
It is a relief.
A hope we believe.
To hug. To kiss.
It is a gift.
A healing to the sick.
To inhale. To exhale.
It is a life.
A part of His plan.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Jericho.
Six days. Six times...
Around Walls.
Appearance. Hopeless...
Around Walls.
Obedience. A promise...
Around Walls.
Seventh day. A shout...
Around Walls.
A trumpet. A defeat...
Around Walls.
A vision. A victory...
Around Walls.
Faith broke...
Through Walls.
Joshua 6:1-20
We all encounter them in our own life. Walls. Those gigantic things that seem to hinder us. We find walls in the middle of our way...whether walls we built around ourselves or one's we stumble upon...they show up. They seem so big and we wonder how we will ever get over such walls. But faith gives us the power to look beyond the walls and see that Christ can tear them down, even when we lack the strength and power to do so ourselves.
Around Walls.
Appearance. Hopeless...
Around Walls.
Obedience. A promise...
Around Walls.
Seventh day. A shout...
Around Walls.
A trumpet. A defeat...
Around Walls.
A vision. A victory...
Around Walls.
Faith broke...
Through Walls.
Joshua 6:1-20
We all encounter them in our own life. Walls. Those gigantic things that seem to hinder us. We find walls in the middle of our way...whether walls we built around ourselves or one's we stumble upon...they show up. They seem so big and we wonder how we will ever get over such walls. But faith gives us the power to look beyond the walls and see that Christ can tear them down, even when we lack the strength and power to do so ourselves.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Let go.
Let go.
Two words encompass,
Fear and faith entwined.
To fear is doubt,
But faith is more.
The Promised Land awaits,
But one last look?
A glance is defeat
But forward is rest.
A tug of war,
All strength insists.
It's plan to shatter,
But Christ holds the grip.
Two words encompass,
Fear and faith entwined.
To fear is doubt,
But faith is more.
The Promised Land awaits,
But one last look?
A glance is defeat
But forward is rest.
A tug of war,
All strength insists.
It's plan to shatter,
But Christ holds the grip.
Sometimes.
Sometimes we hold onto things we don't even know
We have no clue
Sometimes we fool ourselves to believe it's gone
We pretend it's true
Sometimes our hearts are tied and bound
We think we've let go
Sometimes we surrender everything
Little do we know
Sometimes we hold onto things we don't even know.
We have no clue
Sometimes we fool ourselves to believe it's gone
We pretend it's true
Sometimes our hearts are tied and bound
We think we've let go
Sometimes we surrender everything
Little do we know
Sometimes we hold onto things we don't even know.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Yes.
A knock on the chambers of my heart
One glance in that direction. Frozen.
Knowing I must turn my gaze away
And return to the one who sits enthroned.
Wrestling with the enchantment of my desire.
Hesitating, I shift my eyes back to the King.
No. I am not disappointed at who I see.
He is enthroned with supreme wisdom and grace
And clothes me with garments of love.
In Him I find protection,
And in Him I am defended.
No need for fear and self-defense,
For here I find rest and peace.
Free from worry and angst,
My troubles are stilled,
And my load is light.
No need for control.
No need to prove myself.
For the King has already proclaimed, "Yes."
Yes, I am accepted.
Yes, I measure up.
Yes, she is adored and honored.
Yes, she is beauty.
Yes, she is fulfilled in love.
Yes, she has power and value.
Yes, she has significance and purpose.
She has freedom to be.
She has freedom to live.
I am her Sustainer, Victor, Provider, Everlasting Peace, Healer, Counselor, Defender, and Lover.
Need I say more?
She is spoken for.
Dare anyone speak that contradicts such truth?
For justice will be granted.
I delight in her smile and relax in her belief.
She is strong in me and will proclaim freedom to the captives.
I am her God and Master.
I am the Creator of all things and in her I live.
She is my beloved.
And in me she is secure.
One glance in that direction. Frozen.
Knowing I must turn my gaze away
And return to the one who sits enthroned.
Wrestling with the enchantment of my desire.
Hesitating, I shift my eyes back to the King.
No. I am not disappointed at who I see.
He is enthroned with supreme wisdom and grace
And clothes me with garments of love.
In Him I find protection,
And in Him I am defended.
No need for fear and self-defense,
For here I find rest and peace.
Free from worry and angst,
My troubles are stilled,
And my load is light.
No need for control.
No need to prove myself.
For the King has already proclaimed, "Yes."
Yes, I am accepted.
Yes, I measure up.
Yes, she is adored and honored.
Yes, she is beauty.
Yes, she is fulfilled in love.
Yes, she has power and value.
Yes, she has significance and purpose.
She has freedom to be.
She has freedom to live.
I am her Sustainer, Victor, Provider, Everlasting Peace, Healer, Counselor, Defender, and Lover.
Need I say more?
She is spoken for.
Dare anyone speak that contradicts such truth?
For justice will be granted.
I delight in her smile and relax in her belief.
She is strong in me and will proclaim freedom to the captives.
I am her God and Master.
I am the Creator of all things and in her I live.
She is my beloved.
And in me she is secure.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Identity
Designed for this I was,
Though seldom I believe.
Dare I hope to want,
The raging thirst within?
A path marks my destiny,
Yet trust is what I lack.
To wander through the desert,
Blind with endless doubt.
The promise remains,
In Him I am complete.
Though seldom I believe.
Dare I hope to want,
The raging thirst within?
A path marks my destiny,
Yet trust is what I lack.
To wander through the desert,
Blind with endless doubt.
The promise remains,
In Him I am complete.
Hush
Quietness. Laughter.
Free blessings of living.
A touch. A smile.
Bring comfort and warmth.
Tears. A memory.
Bittersweet gifts to the soul.
Gratitude. Tenderness.
To a life well-deserved.
Truth. A moment.
Whose command demands life.
Confusion. A call.
The battle is not mine.
Darkness. A setting sun.
Words spoken release light.
Peace. A hush.
His arms encompass me.
Free blessings of living.
A touch. A smile.
Bring comfort and warmth.
Tears. A memory.
Bittersweet gifts to the soul.
Gratitude. Tenderness.
To a life well-deserved.
Truth. A moment.
Whose command demands life.
Confusion. A call.
The battle is not mine.
Darkness. A setting sun.
Words spoken release light.
Peace. A hush.
His arms encompass me.
Small Faith
In conflict. Again.
An inner debate within the rumblings of my heart.
A question. Simply.
Yet stirs up love and hate, hope and fear.
A choice. Still.
Acceptance shows love, but betrayal in the midst.
Questions. Continue.
To deny bequeaths anger and diminished hope.
A belief. Possible.
To long for more, yet pregnant with doubt.
The storm. Ceases.
A ray of light from only one sun.
Faith. Small.
One step on water, He's guiding my way.
An inner debate within the rumblings of my heart.
A question. Simply.
Yet stirs up love and hate, hope and fear.
A choice. Still.
Acceptance shows love, but betrayal in the midst.
Questions. Continue.
To deny bequeaths anger and diminished hope.
A belief. Possible.
To long for more, yet pregnant with doubt.
The storm. Ceases.
A ray of light from only one sun.
Faith. Small.
One step on water, He's guiding my way.
Blob
Sadness. A big blob.
Puddles on the floor.
Hope dismounted in disarray.
............................................
To find a hiding place
In the shelter of a friend's voice
Despite the brokenness on the floor.
............................................
Around me lay the pieces
Of frustration, anger, and pain.
Disjointed by fragments of love.
............................................
Wrestling with an angel
Pursuing answers in the midst
Believing yet shackled with bitterness.
Puddles on the floor.
Hope dismounted in disarray.
............................................
To find a hiding place
In the shelter of a friend's voice
Despite the brokenness on the floor.
............................................
Around me lay the pieces
Of frustration, anger, and pain.
Disjointed by fragments of love.
............................................
Wrestling with an angel
Pursuing answers in the midst
Believing yet shackled with bitterness.
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