Love

November 27, 2008

Today. A conversation with a gentle man whose heart runs deep. He told me that he knows he's dying, but he's known it his whole life. I wanted to argue with him and say he wasn't dying. But, the statement rung true to the depths of my soul. I didn't know how to respond and thankfully didn't feel the pressure to. I just sat there and looked him in his eyes. He told me that we often worry about the things in life that probably won't even happen, but the things we don't worry about in life will probably happen. He explained that even though he's worrying about his cancer, he will probably die from a heart attack instead. We went on to chat about the paradoxes of life...how one's worst event in life could turn into one's best event, how there is life in death, and how the cycle carries on. In this very instant, I felt the paradox, the beauty and sting of life...the joy that this man brought me through his life, but the sadness that this same man would bring me through his death. I realized then that the depth of love you allow yourself to feel for a person is the same depth of pain you are allowing yourself to experience later. If you're a chicken, you won't love deeply...it hurts too much, the pain is great. Love is for warriors. Warriors who believe the pain is worth it. This man is a warrior. He told me he was proud of me today and I weeped. I weep now. This man got to my heart, and so it is, I love him deeply. This explains the pain.

It Comes.

Years of worry. Years of anguish. Years of sorting out the unsorted. Believing I had been short-changed. But to change direction in my view, I find Him there. Amidst the array of events. I find rest, for He provided. Could I really ask for more? Yet I did, and He came through. I was never alone. Now, a grateful heart. Abundantly he gave. His presence I found. Pieces of joy in the midst of night. Little love notes in the sky. He was there. Words, signs, and songs. Some say coincidence. I say, Him. Guiding my way. A lamp. Yes. He showed up. Doubt surrounded. Faith came through. Through Him. I didn't have the strength. He carried. And the healing. It's coming. It's here. It surrounds me. I'm still walking through. Completion. Not yet. But, it comes.

Life

To worry. To fret.
It is a chore.
A burden we carry.

To smile. To laugh.
It is a relief.
A hope we believe.

To hug. To kiss.
It is a gift.
A healing to the sick.

To inhale. To exhale.
It is a life.
A part of His plan.

Jericho.

Six days. Six times...
Around Walls.
Appearance. Hopeless...
Around Walls.
Obedience. A promise...
Around Walls.
Seventh day. A shout...
Around Walls.
A trumpet. A defeat...
Around Walls.
A vision. A victory...
Around Walls.
Faith broke...
Through Walls.

Joshua 6:1-20

We all encounter them in our own life. Walls. Those gigantic things that seem to hinder us. We find walls in the middle of our way...whether walls we built around ourselves or one's we stumble upon...they show up. They seem so big and we wonder how we will ever get over such walls. But faith gives us the power to look beyond the walls and see that Christ can tear them down, even when we lack the strength and power to do so ourselves.

Let go.

Let go.
Two words encompass,
Fear and faith entwined.
To fear is doubt,
But faith is more.
The Promised Land awaits,
But one last look?
A glance is defeat
But forward is rest.
A tug of war,
All strength insists.
It's plan to shatter,
But Christ holds the grip.

Sometimes.

Sometimes we hold onto things we don't even know
We have no clue
Sometimes we fool ourselves to believe it's gone
We pretend it's true
Sometimes our hearts are tied and bound
We think we've let go
Sometimes we surrender everything
Little do we know
Sometimes we hold onto things we don't even know.